Hear Ye! Hear Ye!
Here follows the Rules of Engagement for the 6th and Last Tournament. Pay close attention, for your lives may depend on it.
Five pounds entry - winner takes all, and becomes Emperor of The Known Binsraad.
It has been decided by the Council that the mode of play for this Tournament will be exclusively Old Skool rules, that is NO edge burning whatsoever, all burns must make a new hole and be made from on top, however close to the edge that may be. This leads to a much more tactical and rapid game, and should move things along nicely. As it was at the dawn on Binhead, so shall it be again.
The original 7th spliff increaso rule will be applied, but only where deemed necessary by the individual groups depending on the progress of their game. That is, if the 7th spliff is reached the number of burns made by each player increases by 1 each time the spliff, or GRAF, is passed.
Also optional to each group of players in a given game will be the No Blowing rule, that is no blowing on the burns to put them out unless the smoke from the original drag is held in and used for the purpose. This too leads to a more rapid game, with a greater degree of skill necessary on the burns.
As is traditional, the play-back-ins will be held during the half time break after Round 3, featuring all those knocked out in the first 3 [except the loser of losers] rounds that with to play their way back in. The games will be one-on-one Dice Head over small Bins, and use unused forfeits from the first 3 rounds. Players have in the past lost in the first round only to play their way back in and win the Tournament.
The Tournament shall be held on the 23th OF OCTOBER - 15:00 Hrs - Castle Kronulus
Skinning Up / Ordering evening will be the night before on the 22nd - Castle Lucius
ROUND ONE: [groups chosen randomly, forfeits chosen by other groups]
Bin Head - 15 mins
Rant at Glasdon - 15 mins
Wailing Ghost Round House - all rooms
Ranting Robotronic Tinfoil Man (vocoded) - 15 mins. wrapped in a full robotic suit of tinfoil + robotic movements.
Vowelless Enterprise (to Star Trek: Enterprise theme) - full song over phone.
Bable-on 5 - 5 mins. rant at camera using a non-stop string of improvised alien words, as soon as a single English word is used the clock restarts from 0, character names from Babylon 5 can be used without penalty.
Bark in Sink- 5 mins solid.
Draw on Person - rest of Tournament. Drawn on with eyeliner by others in game in any way they want.
Enraged Running - 5mins. enraged running on the spot, vocal and furious.
ROUND TWO: [selected groups of similar skill, selecting their own forfeits]
Bruce "Box"lietner [interview] - 1 spliff
Narco-Chamber, Rant Thaumaturgy - 1 spliff
Effervescent Goggles - until dissolution. effervescent fizzers placed inside cyber-goggles with coke.
Bread Head Vibro - until no bread is still attached
Cha-COAT-ay - 15 mins, ALL COATS in all ways. attack everyone optional.
Sprayed Face - left on until next round starts. full face sprayed with black wash-off hair colour "I'm just trying to be a crazier kind of guy".
Green Man, Praise Gods - 15 mins. vegetables covering losers face, taped of clingfilmed, out on garden or grove praising ancient gods.
Ancient Egyptian Creation Story in Sink (version A) - full ranting of the creation story into sink of cold water.
Make Ultra-Solid-Mongolian-Vibro-Feast For Everyone - make a classic potion style mix of random things in a big pan for everyone to feast on like fiends.
ROUND THREE: [groups chosen randomly, forfeits chosen by other groups]
Ogham Cross and Woad - full awesome ritual. robed, grove optional.
Tongue-Shafting - full blown. toilet roll inside mouth placed around tongue, chilli powder, effervescent fizzers, then coke, deposited town tube.
Dark Spinning - intermediate time period. madly spun by other players in group on swivel chair on the spot in the dark.
Yog-Sogoth - 1 Rant. face dipped in bowl of yoghurt, sogothian OTO rant from book.
Shower of Flour, Shambling Zombie - 5 mins, "brains" on Q. full bag of flour poured over losers head outside.
Laszlo Hortobagyi, Full Swing - intermediate time period. all but the head zipped up in Ginges' huge bag, then swung steadily backwards and forwards .
Dark Combat - 7.5 mins, cushions & vibro. loser may only defend, completely dark room.
Cryo-Chamber - two pumped spliffs, noir monologue. climgfilmed up narco-chamber, neon led's, smoke pumped in via Ginge's foot pump, vapour rub applied beneath the eyes for maximum crying .
Skankovich Malmex - 5mins. crudely drawn John Malkovic mask clingfilmed over face, filled glasses clingfilmed over eyes & chin [this forfeit makes no sense].
ROUND FOUR: [selected groups of similar skill, selecting their own forfeits]
Melt of Paradise - extreme face-melt. shaving foam face toothpaste eyebrows, absolute maximum melt.
Rant in Plague Sink - 5 mins. sink plagued by conventional bathroom & kitchen products.
Stargate, Attacked by Jaffa - until the "Jaffa" have finished their attack. run through clingfilm and washing up liquid stargate, attacked by other players with silly string and water pistols to original Stargate theme.
Interrogation - 15 mins or until info is given. sat in bath or outside and given a piece of secret information then persecuted in a Gestapo fashion until information is given, if the loser withstands the ordeal they are presented with a spliff and a brew and heartily commended by all.
Vibromaniacs - everyone in round. loser is vibroed to the ground by everyone in round while singing to the tune of the Anamaniacs..
ROUND FIVE: [groups chosen randomly, forfeits chosen by other groups]
Vampire Ketchup Massacre, Dracula Rant - until Ketchup runs out. dressed in cheap Halloween vampire costume, loser does the "how dare you" Dracula rant, squirted by ketchup firing squad
God Emperor of Dune - 15 mins. complete worm-like clingfilm mummification, blue food colour dyed face, writhing on the floor alternately spouting god emperor quotes or screaming in agony at your transformation
Pickled Mummy Returns - until bindings are obliviated by Picallili and all rooms have been lumbered through. savagely rub double hands full of Picalili into your face, full head to toe toilet roll lumbering Mummy
The Monster Mash - Dance to Monster Mash track. Multi-layer cling film head, all known on-face substances, wrapped by layer over face.
Forfeit Gauntlet - one forfeit from each round that has not been done [chosen by the masses], in order, consecutively, until death. Possibly including additional Marmite Face.
LOSER OF LOSERS FORFEIT:
Permanent Tournament Jester - in jesters hat for rest of Tournament, making brews for all while prancing around and doing idiotic or witty things to amuse people. The Loser of Losers must sing the word "binhead" to the tune of the A-Team theme while performing all tasks. Additionally the Loser of Losers must do a second round forfeit, choice of others in the game, chosen after loss. The Loser of Losers must also stay awake and crazy until the end of the Tournament.
KNOCK-IN FORFEITS: [chosen by others in the group]
Taped Up Hand - rest of game. hand fully wrapped up in tape so that fingers can barely move
Left Hand/ Right Hand Burns - 2 spliffs. burning with the hand you don't write with
Biggles Eyes Burns - 3 burns. burning with the spliff in the mouth, hands round eyes & face, can only be done with new spliff
Knives & Forks Hand Burning - rest of game. Burning with cutlery taped to fingers
Single Foot Burn
Cylon Head Burning - one spliff. burning whilst moving the head slowly yet steadily from side to side and making the appropriate sound effect
Electro-Hand - 1 spliff. burning with the "pain relief' electrodes attached to arm and hand causing muscle twitching
Scarecrow Burns - 1 spliff. playing with a broom stick or long pole across the back and in both sleeves leading to a fixed scarecrow like posture
Throat Singing to Mongolian Embassy whilst burning - 1 spliff
Troll-head burning - 1 spliff
KHAAAAAAAAAN! on Q - rest of game
Far-Right rant round house - all rooms
KAZAN - 1 spliff
Extreme Close-ups whilst burning (Wayne's World style) - 1 spliff
Gurn on Q - rest of game
DROP OUT FORFEIT:
To willingly submit to a Vibro from any one that wants to give one, for as long as they want to give it.
If anyone has a problem with ANY of the above, or any suggestions they'd like to add, please comment and let us know. All the way to Glasdon Prime.